The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
