There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
