Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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