I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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