after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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