i think i have herpe
just one?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
