and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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