i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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