I just threw up on my dentist
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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