No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
