3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
