Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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