allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
