babies were throwing up all over the place
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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