Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
