real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
