According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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