She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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