We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
