just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
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It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
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I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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