So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
