did you get engaged???
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
