Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
