well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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