so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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