They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
