Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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