i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
