Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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