No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
