She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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