I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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