Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
