At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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