I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I love you. Go after that dick
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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