That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
