His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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