it wasn't lemon gatorade
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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