I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
And then he peed in my hair
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