It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
