he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
