Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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