I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
