There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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