you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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