Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Im part way to drunk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
