uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
