You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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