I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
