Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I want to fling myself into the sun
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
