Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
