The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize