Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
