She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
