I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize