I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
