She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
