what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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