i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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